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Sep. 13th, 2010

A Photo A Day For September 13th, 2010

Photo Taken On: September 13th, 2010
Location: Hastings in LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: Ronny & His New Boyfriend, Alex

Sep. 12th, 2010

The Ring

Isn't it beautiful???

I really feel like the happiest woman alive!!

I wish there were words that could explain how blessed I feel right now and I just feel the need to say it but I don't know how. So I'll just say this - I feel blessed. I question a lot. I worry a lot. I don't know why. I guess Robi's death had a bigger impact on me then I'm willing to admit, but I was writing the last blog I wrote and I stopped and it's like a scene of my life flashed me back to 2002 when someone once asked me "why is life worth living for you?" and a sense of calmness and clarity over came me and I said to myself "this is why life is worth living for me."

Life isn't about money, it's not about how many cars you drive or how big of a house you have. It's not about a piece of paper saying you graduated college. It's not about fancy diamonds and china dishes. Life isn't about that - it's about these moments. It's about the moments where you're happy and laughing for no real reason at all. It's about smiling - it's about being in love. THIS is what life is about. THIS is why my life is worth living.

Good Night!

A Photo A Day For September 10th through 12th, 2010


Photo Taken On: September 10th, 2010
Location: Bjs In LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: Me & Keri at BJs Having A Drink For Robi

Photo Taken On: September 11th, 2010
Location: My House In LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: My car was sporting an American Flag in honor of the anniversary of 9-11

Photo Taken On: September 12th, 2010
Location: My House in LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: My engagement ring! : )

Cory Asked & I Said Yes

Do you believe in love?  Do you believe in faith?  Do you believe in God?  Do you believe that the paths that we take lead us to where we are supposed to be?

I lost my faith somewhere along the way.  Somewhere in this journey we call life - I lost my faith, I lost who I was, and I lost my strength.  I lost what made ME - Sarah Markham.  I can't pin point when but somewhere along the way.  And I'm not whole yet.  I'm still working on it.  I'm still working on putting me back together, but I've never felt more complete, more whole, and more on the right path in a long time.  It's like I was in this dark room searching and searching for a light and now I've finally found it, yet I'm still so afraid it's going to burn out.  But I guess that's what faith is all about - faith is about trusting that it's not going to burn out.  Faith is about believing.  We don't know for 100% that God is real, but yet there's SO many people who believe.  They don't need to see - there is no certainty, no gaurantee, but yet people believe.  That's called faith - believing. 

Cory asked me to marry him on Friday.  It was romantic!  He took me out to the island, parked his truck at this spot where you can see all of Havasu lit up at night, we got in the back of it, and he got down on his hands and knees and proposed.  He gave me his grandmother's ring.  It's been in his family a while. It means the world to me!  I think having a ring that holds that much value and sentiment too it is far better than any ring someone spends over $5,000 on.  I love it!  It's perfect!  I'll post a pic in a bit.

We're not getting married right away - April 29th, 2012!  But I have the whole wedding already planned out in my head.  Lol!  We're getting married at Shagrues Bridge View Room and I want to go on a cruise for our honey moon.  I have it all planned.  I have NEVER planned for my wedding before.  Never picked a day, never picked a song, never picked a place, a honey moon, flowers, dresses ... I think I wanna do a pink and purple theme, our wedding song is "truly, madly, deeply" by Savage Garden, I want the wedding live streamed on youtube and my site, Brooke is my maid of honor of course, and David and Meri are the Brides Maids.  I can picture it all now when I close my eyes.

He makes me happy.  He makes me smile, he makes me want to be a better person, he makes me want to believe.   He makes me want to believe in a thing called faith.  I love him.  I've never loved anybody before, nor have I ever felt like this about anybody before.  Marriage is a commitment.  You don't just marry anybody.  I believe when two people say "I Do" they are making a commitment to spend the right of their lives together.  Marriage isn't easy.  I mean people are going to have their arguments, their disagreements, and their fights - but I truly believe that at the end of the day love wins over anything else.  I believe in love.  I believe in faith.  And I believe that Cory and I will be together for the rest of our lives.  I love him with my whole heart. 

Yeah - I'm not mentally okay yet.  I have my moments where I break down for no reason what-so-ever.  I have my mood swings, my attention grabbing moments, I have moments where I question everything, and I am scared at times.  I'm not going to justify it by saying "I've been through a lot" because people have had it far worse than I have.  I mean we all have our moments and our flaws.  I'm not perfect.  I'm going to make mistakes.  But I am working on it.  I'm working on being okay again.  Because like I said - I lost myself somewhere along the way, and I'm slowly starting to find me again.  I'm going to be okay!

I'm getting married you guys!!!  For reals this time!  Lol!  We're getting married!!  Cory Hall & Sarah Markham are engaged!  : )  And THIS - THIS moment - THIS feeling - THIS happy - is what life is all about. 

My advice - if any of you ever get so lucky as to find your own "Cory" - the person who makes you happy, who makes you smile, who makes you feel love, who gives you a reason to push forward and to have faith and to believe - if you ever find someone like Cory - never let him go because you don't find that often.  I know how lucky I am - I never thought I'd find this.  But I did - I found it!  I found the love of my life & I'm not letting him go. 

So have a little faith, fall in love, and believe ... because at the end of the day - that's ALL life is about.  It's not about the other stuff - it's about those moments that make you happy and that make you smile.  THAT is what life is worth living for.

So we're getting married - so mark those calendars - April 29th, 2012!!!

It's ganna be one hell of a wedding ... I mean come on ... I'm Sarah Markham!  Of course my wedding is going to be the talk of the town ...

Love ya all,

Sep. 10th, 2010

There's A Lesson Maybe We All Can Learn ...

It's been five months today - five months since I lost one of my best friends.  I think Robi's death hit me so hard because I really haven't lost anyone before.  My Grandpa died when I was five but hello people - I was five!!! 

I know I come off as a little over the top, sometimes probably annoying, pain in the ass, out there, psychotic, dramatic ... I'm crazy!  I know that!  Lol!  But I'm happy.  Life is far too short not to take risks and not to just live.  So get out there - take that risk.  I never drank until I turned 23.  I never had my 21st birthday.  I mean I did but not really.  I was always that girl who said no - I couldn't drink, I couldn't stay out past 10 on a school night, and I guess I was kind of up tight.  Huh?  Well - I think I was.  But I don't know - Robi's death made me realize life is too short.  So if you want to get out there and have fun - then do it.

Get drunk on a Friday night (just make sure you have a fried to drive you home or a cab)
Fall in love even if you are scared - do it because maybe he or she will be the true love you've always searched for
Take that crazy vacation you've always dreamed of (I want to one day say I have rode EVERY roller coaster in America)
Do that crazy thing you question doing but know you'd have a blast doing it
Follow your dreams because dreams are only dreams until you put actions to them

If Robi's death taught me ANYTHING it's that you have to live because there may not be a tomorrow.

I miss you Robs and love you

Rest in peace

Sep. 9th, 2010

A Photo A Day For September 9th, 2010

Photo Taken On: September 9th, 2010
Location: Ken's Pizza In LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: Susan in her red dress and high heels celebrating her 1st Bday! We LOVE you Susan!

Sep. 8th, 2010

A Photo A Day For September 8th, 2010

Photo Taken On: September 8th, 2010
Location: Javelina Cantina In LHC, Az
Camera: Sony Cyber Shot DSC-H55
Caption: Me & Cory at Javelina for Taco Wednesday

Is A Restraining Order Just A Piece of Paper?

I haven’t yet commented on the shootings that took place in this small little town on August 28th.  I didn’t really know any of the victims.  The mother, Deborah Langstaff, went to school with me.  She was in some of my classes during high school, but I didn’t really know her.  We hung out with different people, but it’s still sad.  Those poor children are all that I can think of.  They lost both their parents, and if they really did see their father shoot their mother – that four year old will never be the same.  Why would you do that?  Your children ALWAYS come first, and you never take a mother away from their children.  What Diaz did was selfish and immoral.  It’s a tragedy that shouldn’t have happened.  It has brought this community together.  They are holding a community memorial for all five shooting victims on Sunday at the London Bridge State Beach at 4pm.  I want to go.  I didn’t know any of them, but I want to go and pay my respects.  It’s just sad.  Ya know?  One guy goes into a house and kills five people, injuries one, and than drives three hours with his children and shoots himself.  I wonder what he told his children in the car that day?  I think we all have questions, but sadly no one will ever really get an answer as to why this happened. 

Deborah had a restraining order on Diaz and just weeks prior had called police saying he was breaking that very order.  So why wasn’t he arrested?  What good is a restraining order?  Is it ANY good?  No, I don’t think it is.

A restraining order is that – a piece of paper.  It does neither justice nor protection.  Jared and I both broke that restraining order in high school.  It was like a cat and mouse game, and the only thing that landed me 2 weeks in juvi was the simple fact I made a phone call on Homecoming and put letters in people’s mail boxes.  But had I not written those letters nor placed that call that night to Tommy and others that night – I wouldn’t have went to jail for breaking any restraining order.  Because all it is – IS a piece of paper.  It doesn’t make you safe.  Maybe we do need to look at how we enforce broken restraining orders and how we can truly protect those who fear for their life from the evils of this world.

My deepest sympathy and condolences go out to the families of all the victims of this senseless shooting.


Sep. 7th, 2010

A Photo A Day For September 5th through 7th, 2010

September 5th, 2010
Yummy food at Joe's Crab Shake In Laughlin

September 6th, 2010
This is what my baby looks like in the AM - it's funny!

September 7th, 2010
Mem & Pops at Dairy Queen for din din

A Photo A Day For August 26th Through September 4th, 2010

August 26th, 2010
Cory bought me this cute Orchid for our 1 month!!

August 27th, 2010
Cory & I Waiting to see The Enductables or something (was a strange movie)

August 28th, 2010
Good times at BJs

August 29th, 2010
Cory & I At The Beach

August 30th, 2010
Cory, David & Susan - We All Went to BJs on a Monday Night ... ahh! Lol!

August 31st, 2010
Saw The Exorcist - Not Good!

September 1st, 2010
My parents new patio furniture

September 2nd, 2010
Kelly has Robi on her head

September 3rd, 2010
David, Terry, Susan and Kim at Gallagher's

September 4th, 2010
David & Terry thought Amber was in labor - so we went to the hospital but it was a false alarm

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